The Shapes of Our Ears
by InsaNe831
Summary: This is a story doomed to heartache. It begins with heartache. It will end with heartache. There is a fair bit of heartache in the middle. Of course, there is also fluff and sometimes fluff can cancel out heartache. This risk is yours. NBRL...NBLM
1. Prefects and Purebloods

If I started this story "Once upon a time there lived a fair maiden" you would probably proceed to roll your eyes and then promptly roll your eyes. Please do. This is a story doomed to heartache. It begins with heartache. It will end with heartache. There is a fair bit of heartache in the middle. Of course, there is also fluff and sometimes fluff can cancel out heartache. This risk is yours. Read on to the despair, knowing that there are flobber worms and house elves playing duck-duck-goose every so often to give a break from the disaster. But only every so often.

Once upon a time there lived a fair maiden and at the time our story begins, she was in fifth year and running late to a prefect's meeting. Who was this fair maiden? She was I, Narcissa Black, the narrator of this story. Yes, you read that correctly. I was Narcissa, the hopelessly privileged and prettiest of the Black sisters, most likely to married to the highest bidder. My sisters' names were Andromada and Bellatrix.

Andromada was a sixth year Ravenclaw rebel. She was always getting into trouble with mum and dad, and so always grounded. Her current scandal was that she was dating a muggle-born, Theodore Tonks. It was beyond my parents wildest dreams that Andromada would do this. As long as I could remember, they had told us not to associate with anyone that wasn't a pureblood under any but the most dire circumstances. Try explaining that to a teacher when group projects come around. It doesn't work and so Andy had met "Ted," fallen "in love," and had gotten herself grounded for the thirty-sixth thousandth time.

I was "closer" to Bellatrix, as Andromada had never quite mastered the ability to stay ungrounded. Bellatrix subscribed whole-heartedly to our parents' teachings about being pureblooded. So much, in fact, that she had become a deatheater last year. I was shocked at first, but gradually got over it. She had always been a dark, scary sort, and she fitted the role. Bellatrix's hobby was to correct my behavior. She loved to tell me how I was supposed to act. The sad thing was, I _was_ supposed to act that way, like a proper lady, cold and distant to the "lessers" (half-bloods, mudbloods, half-breeds, etc.).

It was hard to act proper. I liked to laugh at people's jokes, even if those people were "below" us. If a hallway was empty, would skip down it. When no one could hear, I would sing and not very well. When no one was watching, I would not act proper. It seemed that no one knew that I was a closet goof.

Still, despite having to be "proper," one would assume that it was good to be me. At the time, I assumed so too.

My mind raced as well as my feet up the charms corridor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This was the twelfth time I had been late to a prefect's meeting this year and it was only December. I was sure they would have my badge for it this time. When at last, I reached the door to the meeting, I slipped silently inside. Everyone was already there, the meeting halfway over. I quickly found a seat next to Severus Snape, sixth year.

Severus was one of my favorites of my fellow Slytherins. He had been one of my best friends since my first year. Well, actually last year Severus and I had become a little more than friends. No one knew, of course. My parents would go ballistic. Especially seeing as Severus is a half-blood.

"Late again?" Severus mouthed at me as I sat.

"Obviously," I mouthed back, rolling my eyes. I turned my attention to the head boy who was talking very sternly to someone. With a start, I realized he was talking to _me_.

"Late again, Black?" he was saying, "I'm going to be speaking with Professor Dumbledore about this. Twelve times! What's your excuse this time?"

I told him truthfully, "Well, I was in the library, getting ready to come here when a couple of Gryffindorks--sorry, Gryffindors--" I fixed at the head boy's glare, "decided it would be funny to run off with my book bag. It wasn't until I threatened detention that they decided to give it back."

The head boy wasn't sure if he wanted to believe me.

"Excuses, Black, are getting old," he decided, " Next time, be on time." he fixed me with a stern look, " As I was saying before Ms. Black decided to grace us with her presence..."

Severus was smirking at me. I crossed my eyes at him.

"What did I miss?" I whispered.

"Patrol assignments," he whispered back, "You're with Lupin. Main floor patrols."

Remus Lupin was weird, even for a Gryffindork. He was always--well--nice to me. I was consistently a jerk to him. He would say hi in the hallways, and I would flip my hair and ignore him. He would pick up my books if I dropped them, and I would just roll my eyes at him. He'd open doors for me, and I would close them on him. He'd give me tips on my transfiguration homework, and I would transfigure his quill into a chicken. Still, as rotten as I was to him, he just wouldn't stop being nice.

I tried not to look too displeased, "Why couldn't I be with you?"

"They want 'inter-house relations,'" he smirked.

I turned my attention back to the head boy. He asked how many people would be staying for Christmas. Severus, Lupin, a Ravenclaw, and I all raised our hands.

"You can work out patrols and decorations on your own time then," the head girl told us.

We nodded like good little prefects. The Ravenclaw pulled out her day-planner.

"Does right after the meeting work for everyone then?" she asked.

We didn't answer. Severus slouched down in his seat. I shrugged. Lupin nodded slightly.

"Great! We'll do that then!" she jotted it in her planner, "This will be so much fun!"

Severus and I exchanged glances with a whispered, "Freak!"

"Well then, that about wraps up our meeting," the head girl said brusquely.

"Happy patrols guys," the head boy said sarcastically.

"You too," a Ravenclaw said back just as sarcastically.

No body really liked patrols.

Everyone filed out except the head boy, the Ravenclaw with the day-planner, Lupin, Severus, and me. We divided up assignments for the holiday break and then left to find our patrol partners. Lupin and I had no trouble finding each other.

"Hello," he said pleasantly.

I nodded slightly. Lupin didn't seem to put off by me not returning the greeting. We set off down the halls. After about ten minutes of silence, Lupin tried to start a conversation:

"So, Narcissa, you're staying at Hogwarts for the holidays then?"

"Yes," I said stiffly, "I raised my hand, didn't I?"

Lupin seemed rather taken back by my coldness and didn't answer. We spent the rest of the of the patrol in silence. Towards the end, I started feeling guilty and by the time Lupin and I parted ways at the Great Hall, I almost called him back to apologize, but Severus showed up just as I was watching the sandy haired Gryffindork walk away.

"Narcissa," Severus said urgently.

"Hi Sev," I turned to smile at him before kissing him hello.

He still did not drop the urgency in his voice, "We need to go to the common room right away."

"But Severus," I protested, "I was hoping we could hang out just the two of us."

Severus sighed, "Narcissa, there is a letter from your parents in the common room and Lucius is looking quite sick."

All desire to spend time with Severus evaporated. In its place, a cold dread seeped in, "What? But Sev, they promised that they wouldn't decide anything until next year! It's Andy's year for them to ruin her life, not mine!"

I practically pulled him to the common room. After saying the password ("Rabastan Lestrange is a fairy"), I almost ran to where Lucius was waiting for me.

Lucius Malfoy was another of my best friends. He was pureblood and his family was filthy rich. My parents seemed to think that that was all that mattered and were convinced that my ultimate goal in life should be to marry him. Lucius was not opposed to that idea. In fact, in second year, Lucius had announced that he _was_ going to marry me. Of course, second year was when I discovered that I had a "thing" for Severus and spent most of my time flirting with him and ignoring Lucius.

"Are you alright?" I asked Lucius with concern. He did indeed look about to vomit.

"You have promise not to get mad," he said. Unsurprisingly, I did not feel reassured when he said that. He handed me a letter from my parents with shaking hands.

_Dearest Narcissa,_

_We have exciting news for you! Lucius Malfoy wants to date you! _

I briefly wondered why it sounded like I was on a game show: _Who Wants to Date Lucius Malfoy?_

_We have, of course discussed it with his parents. Obviously, the decision was affirmative. Just think, soon you'll be married! _

_Say hello to your sisters for us._

_All our love, mum and dad_

"I'm so sorry," I had never seen Lucius so nervous, "My parents were being absolute dorks about the marrying someone thing and your name just kind of slipped out."

"Have you ever noticed how weird our parents are?" I asked, rereading the letter.

"Quite frequently actually," Lucius smiled.

"You'd think they wanted to control our entire lives," I said.

"You'd think we've both never been in a relationship before," Lucius said.

"Don't tell them that we have," I cautioned.

"Well of course not," Lucius agreed, scandalized.

Severus looked at us both blankly, "You two are insane."

"No," Lucius disagreed, "You just haven't met our parents."


	2. Hiccups and Breakups

At lunch the following day, I was strolling around the grounds with my sister, Bellatrix. It wasn't long before we spotted Severus being tortured by a few Gryffindorks: James Potter (a messy haired, quidditch playing, show-off), Sirius Black (our rebellious cousin who had ran away from home just last summer), Peter Pettigrew (a chubby boy who always seemed to be following Potter around), and Remus Lupin, my patrols partner.

As soon as we reached the group, Bellatrix took a jelly legs hex off Severus and growled at Sirius, "Would you stop it? He's done nothing to you!"

Severus was not keen on being rescued by two girls. He snarled at Bellatrix, "I can fight my own battles."

"Oh?" her eyes flashed dangerously and as she opened her mouth to tell him off, Sirius interrupted:

"Careful there, Snivelly," his tone was mocking," Don't want to get your girlfriend mad. By the way, Trix, I am so proud of you."

"For what?" she rolled her eyes.

"Think about it," Sirius laughed,"That's your homework, to figure that out, and you, Snivellius, buy shampoo. They sell it at most grocery stores, you know."

"And it comes in a bottle," Potter chipped in, "Usually labeled S-H-A-M-P-O-O. That spells shampoo."

"Brilliant, James," Sirius snickered,"remind me to tease you about that later."

"Hey," Potter protested, defending himself, "I thought he might be a little confused. I mean, maybe he couldn't find it at the store."

"I'm sure dear Severus isn't that stupid," Lupin put in,"Maybe he does have the product. He just doesn't know how to use it."

"Lather," Sirius grinned.

"Rinse," Potter could hardly contain his laughter.

"Repeat," Remus finished, "but for you, dear Severus, I'd repeat a few times."

A bit of laughter almost escaped my mouth. I covered it with my hand, but a squeak still sounded. I blushed bright red as the group turned their attention to me.

"Alright there, 'Cissa?" Sirius asked mischievously.

"Hiccups," I lied, blushing more.

"Right," Potter said sarcastically.

"Hiccups suck," Lupin said thoughtfully, "Try standing on your head and holding your head for awhile."

"I think they're gone now," I hid a smile.

"You sure?" Potter turned his wand on me, "'cause I could flip you upside down."

My eyes got really huge. Lupin looked quite alarmed that Potter had changed his cure for hiccups into a way to torture the Slytherins.

"Levi-" he started.

Lupin cut him off, "Now, now, James. Let the innocent hiccuppers go."

"Fine, Rem," Potter rolled his eyes.

Potter and Sirius turned back to Severus and Bellatrix. Lupin, however, kept his attention on me.

"Sorry," he mouthed.

I glared at him icily, just as a good little Slytherin should. He arched an eyebrow. I kept my face stony. He crossed his eyes, stuck out his tongue, and touched his nose with it. I squeaked behind my hand again.

"Awful thing hiccups," he nodded at me.

I blushed.

That night, before patrols, Severus pulled me into an empty classroom, saying that we needed to talk. I could tell that he was upset easily. All pleasant demeanor had left him, and he hadn't mocked anyone all through dinner.

"Severus, what's the matter?" I asked quickly, desiring only to fix whatever it was.

"Darling," he sighed, l"We can't go on like this."

Hope swelled inside me,"I agree. We should march right up to mum and dad, tell them that the Malfoys, save Lucius only, should go fall off a cliff, because I have no intention of ever being involved with their son in anything but a platonic manner."

"No," Severus shook his head sadly, "That's not what I meant at all."

My hear sunk to my stomach and a knot formed in my throat. A cracked, defeated voice escaped me when I asked, "Surely you don't mean-"

"We need to stop seeing each other, darling," Severus said gently, seeing my shock and dismay.

"Severus, no!" I gasped, stepping towards him.

"Yes," he said firmly.

My eyes started to water. How could this be happening?

"But, Severus," my voice shook, "I love you."

"I love you too Narcissa," he wouldn't meet my eyes, "But your parents want you to be with Lucius. They'll never want you to be with me. I'm only a half-blood. Did you honestly think that we could go on like this forever?"

"Well, yes," I said quietly, "I mean, we'd tell people eventual-"

"Be sensible," Severus interrupted me,"I am a half-blood. Your parents would never approve."

"Then screw them!" I said wildly, "Who cares if you're not pure blood?"

"I care," Severus said sharply, "You deserve better. You deserve Lucius."

"But I want you!" I protested.

"But we are not meant to be!" he protested right back.

"Says who?" I demanded loudly.

"Society," Severus said just as loudly.

"Screw society!" I shouted.

"No!" Severus shouted back. Then in a gentler tone, "I won't let you wreck your future for me and that's that. End of discussion."

He walked out of the classroom. I stood there crying, fuming, and shaking. Society had broken me and my Severus apart. Suddenly I loathed the teachings my parents had brought me up with. I didn't care about blood. It was ridiculous. After a few minutes, my watch beeped. It was time for patrols with Lupin.

When I arrived in the Great Hall, Lupin was there reading a book. As soon as he saw me, he slipped the book in his pocket.

"You're late," he said simply. He did not seem to be upset about it.

"I'm so sorry," I gushed sincerely. I had tear stains on my cheeks and my eyes were red and puffy. I had cried the whole way there.

Lupin seemed a little surprised at my sincerity and more surprised at the state I was in.

"It's okay," he said slowly, looking me up and down, examining my wrecked appearance, "Are you okay? I know being late is upsetting, but crying about it, Ms. Heat-of-Stone?" He raised his eyebrows timidly as if not sure that he should be teasing me.

I managed a weak smile, "Funny."

"Seriously though, are you okay?" Lupin looked concerned.

"Not really," I said truthfully," But it's a long story."

"Well," Lupin prompted, "We do have an awful long time to patrol."

"You really want to know, don't you?" I asked.

Lupin nodded, "Yeah,'Cissa, you're making me worry about you."

"Sorry," I said quietly, "I didn't mean to."

He immediately grabbed my hands,"Don't be sorry. I want to worry about you."

Lupin was really sweet.

"Now let's start patrols," he continued, "And you can tell me every little thing that is making you sad."


	3. Patrols and Finger Food

Surprisingly, I found myself telling Lupin every little thing that was making me sad. I told him about Severus. I told him about my parents stupid rules and even stupider obsession with Lucius. I ranted and raved about how just because someone's not pureblood, it doesn't mean that they are a cockroach or something.

I finished my ranting with, "It's so stupid to be judged by something that you can't control! Remus, why are people so stupid?"

"I know what you mean," he said thoughtfully, "Judging people like that is like judging people by how their ear is shaped or something meaningless like that, but, you know, not all people are stupid."

"Well yeah," I agreed, " I mean, _you're_ not stupid, Remus," (he chuckled at this) "but most of the people who surround me everyday are."

Remus raised his eyebrows, "Like who for example?"

I ticked off all the deatheaters I knew on my fingers (of course, not mentioning that they were deatheaters), "Bellatrix, Regulus, Lucius, Severus, the Lestranges, Knott, Mcnair-" I paused, "Slytherin house mainly."

Remus chuckled again, "You sound like a 'Gryffindork.'"

"Sorry 'bout the nick-name," I apologized quickly, "I was being a total jerk."

'You were not," he said.

"You're just being nice," I accused him.

"Yeah," he grinned guiltily.

I smiled at him, "I like it when you're nice."

He smiled back, "I like it when you talk to me."

Our eyes met, we both blushed and looked away. After a few minutes of silence, I asked him:

"Remus if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?"

He looked at me curiously, "You first."

I thought for a moment, "If I had a choice, I wouldn't be pureblood."

Remus looked shocked, "But not necessarily a bad thing, being pureblood."

"But you see," I said matter-of-factly, " If I wasn't pureblood, I wouldn't have my parents and sisters forcing me to be proper all the time. I could be friends with whomever I wanted. It's a terrible thing being proper all the time. Oh, Remus, what I wouldn't give to be able to eat finger food!"

He laughed, " Sometime, I'll take you out for finger food. You don't have to be proper around me."

My eyes went huge, "Really?"

"Yes, of course," he said with a shrug,

I sighed happily, "Your turn."

"Well," he paused for a moment, "I honestly don't think I would change a thing 'cause, who knows, if I did, I might not be walking with you right now and I wouldn't want to change that."

"You're sweet," I said, giving him a curious glance, 'But why? Why are you always so nice to me? I'm nothing but a jerk to you."

Remus paused for a second, "You haven't been a jerk tonight."

"But you're always nice," I told him, "Not just tonight."

"Well," Remus said thoughtfully, "that's probably because I like you."

"But _why_?" I asked him.

"Self-esteem issues much, 'Cissa?" he smiled at me, "I like you because-I don't know-you seem like you're not the jerk you usually pretend to be."

"Then what am I?" I asked, confused.

"No idea," he shrugged, "But I'd like to find out."

"You're sweet, Remus Lupin," I told him again.

We walked in silence for a couple of minutes until Remus burst out laughing. I stopped and looked at him, alarmed and confused.

"What is so funny?" I demanded.

"Just thinking of you and Snape snogging," he laughed harder.

I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him, so all I did was shove him playfully and said, "Oh shut up, Remus."

That night, as Remus and I were about to go to our common rooms, my curiosity was on overkill. He was friends with Sirius. I had not had a conversation with Sirius in the longest time. The last time that I had, we had had a fight. It had been over him running away. I had begged him not to. He said he had to get away from our family. I told him our family was not so bad. He looked at me pityingly. I had asked him how he could pick 'those people' over us. He called me a Bellatrix clone. I had slapped him across the face.

"You're friends with Sirius, aren't you?" I asked, though I knew the answer.

"Yes," Remus said.

"How is he?" I asked quietly, "He's not out on the streets or anything, is he? I've been so worried about him, but we're not speaking so..."

"He's happy," he said, looking at me with an unreadable expression, "He lives with our friend James Potter, you know him. He's getting his own place soon though. Don't worry, he hasn't been living off of rats or anything."

'That's a relief," I sighed, "I never understood why he did it before, but now it just seems crystal," I paused, "that's awful, isn't it? I have to have my heart broken in order to see things properly."

I sighed again.

"It's not awful," Remus said seriously, "You've had no reason to question what your parents were teaching you before. Now you do, and I must say, I agree with your new views entirely."

He looked at me in such absolute seriousness that my spine prickled. He believed the same way Sirius did. Maybe the whole world wasn't stupid.

I looked at him for a second before saying, "I should probably head to my common room."

"I should too," he agreed.

"Bye," I said sadly, "this was fun."

"Yeah, it was," he smiled at me, " So tomorrow then?"

I shrugged, "Yep. Tomorrow."

He turned to go.

On impulse I said, "Tell Sirius that I'm sorry."

He stared at me for a second, "Of course."

Then he left and I began walking to the dungeons. My head was spinning pleasantly and I had no idea why. Remus Lupin was not some annoying gryffindork anymore. Remus Lupin was my friend. I was still upset about Severus, but society seemed far less screwed up then it had been a few short hours ago.


	4. Fairies and Ice mice

Arriving at the common room, I said the password that Severus and I had made up on September first and had never felt the need to change. We had been inspired by Rabastan Lestrange (Bellatrix's fiancee's younger brother) asking me out for the three thousand and eleventh time. Regulus had asked why Rabastan even bothered asking me out when we all knew that he had been checking out Amos Diggory (a seventh year, perhaps the only one hotter than Lucius, but he's a half-blood so Lucius's stock is higher) just five minutes ago. So, when Severus and I had been told to think of a password. the choice had seemed obvious.

"Rabastan Lestrange is a fairy!" I sing-songed and the door to the common room swung open. As soon as I crossed the threshold, my three best friends (Lucius, Severus, and Regulus), my sister, and the Lestrange boys ran to me. They looked unbelievably happy.

"So are all the smiles for me or have you guys been getting into the Mountain Dew and Kool-Aid?" I asked, smiling myself. Their happiness was contagious.

Lucius laughed and quickly explained why their condition, "Severus just invented a new spell."

"Really?" I forgot in that second that Severus had broken my heart a few hours earlier, "What's it do, Sev?"

Severus was still smiling--until our eyes met. His smile dropped instantly, as did mine. My chest tightened slightly and there was a knot in my throat. All I wanted was Severus back.

His voice was quiet, "It cuts the person like a knife. Lots of blood."

Bellatrix threw her arms around my Severus and I felt a surge of jealousy.

"You're a genius!" she squealed, "I'd like to see Potter bug you now! And the Dark Lord will be so pleased!"

Severus smiled, "I know. It is a wickedly awesome spell."

Severus was brilliant and he knew it. It was one of the reasons that even though her was only seventeen, he was already one of the Dark Lord's top deatheaters. Then again, Regulus was even more talented than Severus. He was the Dark Lord's third in command.

"Cocky much?" Regulus laughed, "Shall we all just bow down to our Half-blood Prince, and just say screw the Dark Lord?"

His comment was greeted with silence and a slight smile from me. I'm not sure why he said that. Maybe he saw that Bellatrix's arms were still around Severus. Maybe he saw that my eyes were glued on them. Whatever the reason, he said it and I was grateful. Bellatrix's arms fell off Severus in shock.

Regulus was my cousin and my best of my best friends. We had grown up together. We told each other almost everything. He was Sirius's younger brother. The two hadn't spoken in two years. Regulus wouldn't tell me the details of why. All I know is that there had been a fight. Regulus had had a black eye and a broken leg from it. He didn't blame Sirius though. Like any teenager in their right mind, he blamed his parents. That was something that all the Black cousins and siblings had in common, not a single one of us could stand our parents.

"You shouldn't say things like that," Bellatrix growled at him after a minute, "And you, Narcissa! Encouraging him!"

I blushed sheepishly, "Sor--"

Regulus cut me off, "'Cissa don't apologize."

I tilted my head to the side and examined my cousin with questioning eyes.

He rounded on Bellatrix, eyes narrowed, "Just because you let the dark lord control you, even your very thoughts, doesn't mean that I do or that Narcissa has to. It's called free thinking, you should try it sometime."

She seethed, "You, Regulus, are one of his top deatheaters. Are you not loyal to the one who has gifted you with such honor?"

"I'm not poisoning his butterbeer if that's what you mean," he shrugged, "But I see nothing wrong with saying 'screw the Dark Lord.'" He turned to me, "C'mon, 'Cissa, let's ditch this popsicle stand."

I laughed and we found a nice by the fire to play chess. He beat me easily. It was pleasant to be just sitting and playing chess with my best friend. I don't know why he always seemed to insult the Dark Lord, or to make jokes about him, but he did it often and it got on the deatheaters nerves. He never seemed to regret being a deatheater, but he did not obsess over the dark arts at all. He liked magic that was practical better.

As our game came to an end, Regulus pulled out a box of ice mice (his favorite candy) and offered me some. I took a few but did not eat them.

"S-so wha-what's u-up with you a-and Sev?" the ice mice made his teeth chatter.

I shrugged.

He swallowed his ice mice before saying, "C'mon, he looked like he had gotten a T in DADA when he looked at you. You can't say there's nothing going on."

I shrugged again. My relationship with Severus was one of the few things I had not told him about.

"C'mon, 'Cissa," he begged, "Tell me. Did you finally tell him that the reason you only snog him in cupboards is his hair?"

I gaped at him.

"Lucky guess," he shrugged.

"Well we won't be snogging in cupboards anymore," I sighed, "We broke up."

"That sucks," Regulus said quietly.


	5. Quidditch and Quarrels

Regulus tried to cheer me up before we went to bed that night.

"So I hear we have some good news though," he said carefully.

"What?" I asked, raking my mind for something good, "Did the Bats win the cup?"

Of course! That had to be it! A smile flooded my face. Regulus gaped at me.

"I mean you and Lucius," he said slowly.

"Oh," I nodded, "Yeah, that." I paused, "But the match was today... did they win?"

He shook his head slowly.

"They didn't win?" I asked, shocked, "But they were playing the Arrows. The Arrows suck."

Regulus continued to shake his head, mouth slightly ajar.

"But they can't have lost!" I protested, lost in my grief. First Severus dumps me because of Lucius, then the Bats lose the Quidditch cup, what next?

Lucius, hearing my protest, told me, "Of course, the Arrows lost to the Bats. Did you honestly think that they'd win?"

"Oh," I heaved a sigh of relief, "That's not what Reggie told me, see."

My cousin flicked my ear, "You are a dunderhead."

Lucius had walked over, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

I shrugged, "Of course, Lucius."

"I'm going to head up to bed, 'Cissa," Regulus told me quickly without even acknowledging Lucius before he headed down the stairs to the guys' dormitories. Lucius watched him go with distaste.

"What's on you mind?" I asked him lightly.

"Don't get mad," Lucius commanded.

"That's promising," I said sarcastically.

He rolled his eyes, but promptly got serious, "Listen, the fight back there between Regulus and Bellatrix..."

"What about it?" I asked, "It was nothing."

"It's just-Regulus talks about the dark lord like that a lot," Lucius said quickly.

"So?" I asked, "They're just words."

"I just don't want to see him get himself into trouble," he said.

"With Trix?" I snorted, "Regs can take her."

"No," he said gravely, "With the dark lord. Trix is known to be a bit of a tattle tail...and Narcissa, you have no idea what the dark lord is capable of."

"You want me to talk to him?" I asked.

Lucius nodded.

I turned to leave, but then stopped, "Should I be worried about him?"

Lucius grinned, "Naw. If there's one more brilliant than Sev, it's Reggie. The dark lord knows it."

I smiled slightly, "Thank goodness."

The next morning before breakfast, outside of the Great Hall, Severus and I had a bit of a row. I had convinced myself that that i could get him back, if only I could make him see reason.

"But mum and dad don't approve of Andy and Ted's relationship!" I argued, "And you know what? Andy doesn't care! So why should we care Sev? Who gave them the right to say who I can and cannot date?"

"Your parents weren't the only issue," Severus snapped, "Lucius is my best friend!"

"He's mine too," I shrugged, "He'll understand."

"No," Severus said wearily, "He won't."

"So," I said, hurt, "You won't even try."

"No," he shook his head, "I won't."

"Then I'll think of something else," I told him.

Severus blew up, "No Narcissa! I've thought this over! I've made up my mind. I'm not going to be with you. This is why I don't even want to be around you anymore, you just can't get your head around the fact that we're over!"

"But Sev-" I began.

He cut me off, "Shut up! Just SHUT UP!"

He came towards me, arm raised. I closed my eyes tightly and tears slipped down my cheeks. I waited for the impact, didn't come. I flinched when I felt someone gently take my hand.

Slowly, I opened my eyes. A dark haired, rather tall Gryffindor easily recognizable as my cousin Sirius was standing between Severus and me. They were arguing. Severus's nose was bleeding and I knew that it was because of Sirius. The hand that was holding mine belonged to Remus Lupin, my patrols partner.

When my eyes met his worried ones, he asked, "Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No," I said quietly, "You guys saved the day."

"Well, we had our damsel in distress radar on," James Potter was standing next to Remus, a slight grin on his face.

I smiled weakly.

"You know James," Remus nodded at him, "James Potter, the one Sirius is living with."

"Of course," I said examining the guy who made Severus's life a living hell on a daily basis.

"It's a pleasure to meet you properly, Narcissa," James grinned at me. It was amazing how much nicer to me than yesterday. I wondered if Remus had told them to be.

"It is," I agreed. Then we turned our attention to Severus and Sirius who wer growing progressively louder.

"And who are you to tell me what to do?" Severus was sneering.

"When it comes to matters of my family, I have every right to," Sirius retorted.

"Oh and when did you become such a family man?" the sneer did not leave Severus's face.

Sirius practically growled, "Since you sent my cousin crying to patrols last night and started yelling at her in the hallways."

The sneer slid off of Severus's face like jello, he shot a glare at Remus (who just smiled) before saying, "I'm not the only one here who's made her cry."

Sirius looked pretty guilty at that remark.

The sneer came back, "So you three have no room to talk."

Memories of teasing, itching powder, and dung-bombs flooded my mind. I pulled my hand from Remus's.

He looked alarmed, "'Cissa?"

I took a breath before saying, "Now that we've established that you're all a bunch of hypocrites, I think I'll be leaving."

I turned and entered the great hall, Remus, Sirius, and James at my heels.

"'Cissa, please wait!" Remus begged.

I turned to him, "I guess last night I kind of forgot about all those times you glued my skirt to Lucius's book-bag, or turned my hair into worms, or charmed my shoes so that every step that I took they would scream, or-"

"'Cissa, I am so sorry, " he said.

I searched his eyes, "Why?"

"Because they were jerky things to do," he said, "We didn't know that you took them that seriously."

"Yeah," James agreed, "Regulus took them off you so fast that we figured that it was no big deal to try our new hexes out on you."

"You used to put jelly legs curses on me and bet on how many people I'd take out as I fell over," I said sadly.

"'m sorry," Sirius said, "We were jerks."

"Yeah you were. What's different now?" I turned to Remus, the one who was always so nice to me, sighing, "I always forget the you tortured me too. You're always so nice the rest of the time."

"And you're always a jerk to me," he said.

Sirius and James looked at him in alarm.

I, however, nodded.

"Sit with us at breakfast?" Remus asked.

I nodded.

"And, Sirius," I said quietly, "Thanks for back there."

"No problem," he said, confused, "Are we forgiven?"

"If you forgive me," I said.

"Done," he smiled.

"Done," I smiled back.

"Food?" James asked hopefully, "I'm starving."

And so, Remus put an arm around my shoulders and led me to the Gryffindor table.


	6. House elves and Cereal

As we approached the Gryffindor table, a shriek sounded:

"Narcissa?" Lily Evans, sixth year, asked in disbelief, "What are you doing with Remus?"

I stepped guiltily away from him, unsure if I had done something wrong.

"Er-nothing?" I squeaked.

"Does Severus know you're with _them_?" she looked pointedly at James and Sirius.

"I'll say," Remus grinned, "Didn't you hear the shouting?"

"That was you guys?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"But of course," Sirius laughed, "Who else?"

"No one else," Lily agreed, "There are some extra seats right here."

She motioned directly to her right.

"Are you inviting us to sit with you, Evans?" James's eyebrows shot up.

"Yeah. I s'pose I am," she shrugged.

James immediately took the seat next to her. Remus, Sirius, and I sat across from them, me in the middle.

Lily Evans was perhaps my favorite Gryffindor. Severus had introduced me to her in my first year. He and Lily both had a knack for potions and it had made them friends. They had been cauldron mates up until the end of their fifth year, my fourth, when Severus did the unthinkable: he called her a mudblood. Now in my fifth year, their sixth, the pair hardly spoke. Lily and I had never been close due to the fact that I was pureblood and she was, well—not. Still, we did say hi in the hallways on occasion and have had one or two study sessions at the library together.

Once we were seated, Lily asked, "So, how's Sev? Apart from the shouting, I mean."

I shrugged, trying to be indifferent, "We broke up so I reckon he's doing just peachy."

She looked genuinely shocked, "What?"

I shrugged, not looking at her.

Lily was wise to change the subject, "So you've stolen my patrols partner."

"Yeah," I smiled slightly, "So who'd you get landed with?"

"Louise Kenuffer," she rolled her eyes.

"Who?" I asked blankly.

"The ravenclaw with the planner," Remus explained.

"Ouch," I winced, "Is it painful?"

"Dreadfully," she laughed, "You're lucky to get Remus."

"Yeah," I agreed, "Pretty lucky."

Remus smiled at me.

"If he's ever mean, though," she said, "You just tell me and I'll take him down."

He laughed, "I'd like to see you try."

"Oh I can take you," she teased.

"Nah," he shook his head, "No way."

They were teasing each other like they did it all the time. In a heartbeat, I was wondering why I had thought Remus was single. I was also wondering why I cared so much.

I voiced the question that was on my mind, "Are you two---um---you know?"

Remus didn't know, "What?"

Lily, however, did and burst out laughing, "No, 'Cissy, we're not."

"Not what?" Remus asked, confused.

"Not going out," Lily explained.

Remus shook his head, "James would kill me."

"Darn right." James agreed.

Remus opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Sirius's shout:

"OY! Peter! Get over here!"

The fourth—and last—of Remus's group, Peter Pettigrew took the seat next to James. He did a double-take upon seeing me.

"What's with the Slither-thing sitting with us?" he asked, eyeing me with dislike.

Remus shot him a dirty look, "Her name is Narcissa."

Peter opened his mouth but James cut him off:

"C'mon, Pete, let us keep her! She's so cute!"

I blushed.

Remus and Sirius nodded in agreement.

"And we'll even feed her and walk her and everything!" Remus said.

"Besides she's my cuzzie," Sirius pouted.

"Okay, okay, sheesh," Peter shrugged, "I just asked a question!"

"A rude question," Remus muttered.

"Remus…" James said under his breath, "Don't blow this up."

Remus rolled his eyes and turned to me (who was feeling guilty about Remus and Peter's argument).

"Listen, if it's going to be a problem, I can leave," I said quietly to him, "I won't be offended…or at least not much."

"Don't go," his eyes begged me.

"Don't fight with your friends about me," I countered.

"Okay," he said simply.

"Okay." I agreed with a smile.

"Want some cereal?" he smiled back.

"Yeah, I'd like some cereal," my smile widened and I had to look away to keep from blushing.

And so Remus poured me some cereal.

Sirius turned to me, "Hey 'Cissy?"

"Yeah?" I asked, eyeing my cereal longingly. I took a spoonful.

"Are you and Regulus still best friends?" he asked.

I nodded, bringing my spoon closer to my mouth.

"How's he holding up with just Kreacher and the 'rents?" he asked in a light tone, but his eyes were worried.

My spoon stayed an inch from my mouth as I answered, "He's okay. He still climbs through my window every night though."

"Really?" Sirius forgot to make his tone light.

Sirius was supposed to hate his brother. James, Remus, Peter, and Lily gaped at him.

"Yeah," I set my spoon, still full of cereal, back in my bowl, "Really."

Sirius noted his friends' curiosity. I wondered if he'd tell them the truth. It wasn't his to tell, just as it isn't mine to tell. No body needed to know why Regulus snuck out of his house every night in the summer. I was ready to slap Sirius if he told. I tried not to show it. I swirled my spoon in my uneaten cereal.

Sirius said lightly for his friend's benefit, "Poor kid's afraid of the house elf."

I smiled a huge smile at Sirius, "Well Kreacher is a bit creepy."

"Yeah, not like the ones you play duck-duck-goose with," he grinned at me.

"That's a bit mental," James commented.

"She is a bit mental," Sirius grinned even more at me.

I shrugged, "My sisters neglected me. I needed _someone_ to play with."

Sirius and James exchanged glances, "Mental."

I blushed, "Gee, Sirius, I love you too."

Sirius chuckled, "I forgot how much I love to tease you."

I rolled my eyes, "We haven't spoken—at least not civilly—in a year and you don't miss playing Exploding Snap, you miss teasing me!"

"Well you sucked at Exploding Snap," he shrugged.

"I _still_ suck at Exploding Snap," I admitted, laughing.

"Wouldn't doubt it," he laughed too.

I loaded my spoon with cereal again, stomach growling. Just as I raised my spoon to my lips, a shout came from the Slytherin table.

"Kissy?" Lucius shouted in disbelief in my direction.

I sighed and dropped my spoon.

"What honey?" I asked sarcastically, turning in my seat.

Remus, Sirius, James, Peter, and Lily all looked at me oddly.

"And what has my little cousin been up to warrant such a nickname?? Sirius asked.

I blushed, obviously lying, "It's just a pet name that some people call me because one day Lucius heard Bellatrix calling me 'Cissy and he was all 'Kissy' and, sadly, it stuck?"

None of them looked convinced. Not that I would've been if I were them.

"Well, _Kissy_," James grinned, "Don't kiss that Malfor chap. You don't know where he's been."

I laughed, "Actually, I have a pretty good idea."

"WHY ARE YOU OVER THERE?" Lucius asked all too loudly, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DOES IT SMELL NICE?"

"I'm trying to eat cereal," I called back, laughing, " And it smells alright!"

I caught a glimpse of the Slytherin table. Lucius was grinning at me. His equivalent to my Regulus, Travis Travers was laughing. Severus had his head in his hands. Regulus waved at me---and took a huge bite of cereal, as though he could tell what I was thinking even without the usual eye contact legilimency requires. Bellatrix looked confused.

I turned back to the gryffindors, "Sorry 'bout that. Lucius is very---umm---special. Of the stop-eating-the-paste variety."

"S'okay," James shrugged, "No big deal."

I spooned some cereal again. I brought my spoon to my lips and—

"WE MISS YOU!" Lucius shouted, "COME BACK TO US! LUPIN ISN'T THAT HOTT!"

I dropped my spoon and burst out laughing, unable to stop. Remus, too, was laughing too hard to breathe.

Sirius jumped up in mock outrage.

"REMUS IS TOO HOTT!" he proclaimed.

I was almost to the point of hysteria.

"Is not!" Lucius was having a hard time keeping a straight face, "Or at least not as hott as Travers!"

Once upon a time Lucius and Sirius had been good friends., back when Sirius was still trapped in his parents' world. The two had been mischief makers and were routinely involved in strapping explosives to Bellatrix's chair along with Regulus, Travers, and me.

Lucius walked over to the Gryffindor table and tapped my shoulder. I turned to him.

"Hey ya Kissy," he grinned at me.

"Hey," I smiled at him, "What's up?"

"Thought I'd give you a heads up that the strange one is going for the three thousand and ninety-fifth."

I groaned, "No!"

"Yes," Lucius said with a slight nod. He turned and did an odd combination of a handshake and a high-five with Sirius, "Hey buddy, long time, no see."

"Yeah, it has been awhile," Sirius nodded, "How's the world holding up?"

"I could complain, but it'd be kinda pointless," Lucius said grimly.

"So they still try to make you eat the jello with the fruit in it?" Sirius asked.

"No matter how much I complain," Lucius nodded.

"That sucks," Sirius said.

"You're telling me."

I started to grab my spoon, but Rabastan Lestrange was already behind me.

"Hello Rabastan," I turned to him.

"Hello Narcissa," he smiled, "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Well, n—" I started.

Remus kicked me under the table.

I looked at him, confused.

"Patrols," he mouthed with a shrug.

I smiled instantly, "I'm sorry Rabastan, but I have patrols with remus tonight. Maybe some other time."

"Oh," he frowned, "Well can I at least walk you to class?"

I frowned at my uneaten cereal. Oh how I wanted to eat it.

"That would be lovely," I said, defeated.

"Arithmancy, right?" Lucius asked me.

I nodded, saying "stalker" under my breath.

"What a coincidence," he rolled his eyes at me, "I go that way too. I'll walk with you guys."

Rabastan shot Lucius a death glare. I pretended like I didn't notice.

"Oh Lucius, what a splendid idea!" I said as though I hadn't been hoping for hi to say it.

"Then I guess it's settled," Lucius grinned at Rabastan.

I got up, mentally saying a heartfelt goodbye to me cereal. Rabastan took my books at once. Lucius looked at him as though he had planned this all just to walk me to class without having carry my books. Lazy, lazy Lucius.

I turned to the Gryffindors, "Thank you for inviting me to sit with you guys."

"It's an open invitation," Sirius shrugged.

"Bye," I said awkwardly as Lucius and Rabastan were both waiting behind me like armed body guards or something.

As soon as we left the Great Hall, I was missing my cereal. A plan formed in my mind.

I stopped walking, "Ooops. I forgot my quill."

"Do you want to go back and get it?" Lucius asked.

"Yes," I turned back to the Great Hall, "Wait for me. I won't be long."

I bolted back to the Gryffindor table. My cereal was still there. The Gryffindors looked at me in confusion.

"Um—hi." I blushed, "I'm kind of hungry."

I picked up my spoon and took a few hurried bites of cereal.The Gryffindors were staring at me.

I swallowed the last bite I had taken, "Does anyone have a quill I can borrow for the day?"

"Um—yeah," Remus handed me a quill.

"Thanks," I gushed before leaving the table. I took a few hurried steps before Remus called:

"'Cissa?"

"Hmmmm?" I asked, turning to face them again.

"Have a good day," he said awkwardly.

"You too, Remus," I smiled, fighting a laugh, "See you later."

I hurried back to Lucius and Rabastan. They weren't facing eachother and both had their arms crossed.

I waved the quill at them, "Found it."

"Excellent," Rabastan said, "Shall we be off then?"

"of course," I said stiffly.

As we started walking towards my class, Lucius whispered in my ear, "Was it good cereal?"

I nodded, a smile flooding my face.


End file.
